Ghosting is often associated with romantic partners, but guess what? You can be ghosted by friends too.
Yes, sometimes our friends fall off the radar due to their own personal issues because life happens to everyone. But there’s a difference between your friend needing space and your friend needing space…from you.
It can be harder to read between the lines and know when to let go when we’re feeling the slow death of a friendship, so check out a few tips on if you have been or are on your way to be ghosted.
You Haven’t Seen Them, But They’re Still On The Scene
When you inquire on their availability to connect, they’re always tired, broke or not feeling well. They’re not hanging with you, but they’re everywhere with everyone else – and flicking it up on the gram for you to see! If they’re constantly flaking on you but still on the scene, they may have ghosted.
They Take Days To Respond To Any Form of Communication
Texts, calls, DM’s, YOU NAME IT! (Shirly Ceaser voice) this friend is simply not available. We get it, everyone isn’t tech savvy and some people just prefer face to face interaction. But if they’re not even responding to communication for you to hang out, this is problematic.
They Don’t Respect Your Time
These are friends that flake at the drop of a hat for just about anything. You’re not a priority on their schedule, and if something else more appealing for them comes up they’ll ditch you for it. In addition, when you do finally link up they’re either late or in a rush to leave for something else. You put on your Sunday best for brunch with your friend, and they’re counting down the minutes until they have to head out for their other plans? Nope.
Conversation Isn’t The Same
It’s the same scenario as when your romantic relationships began to fall off. Awkward silences, disagreements over things you say, power struggles over who chooses hangout plans, and arguments. Even through text, they’re no longer laughing at your memes and are one wording you. You can feel the tension building and despite your love for your friend, you can feel things are just different.
Your Friend Has Ghosted Friends Before
You know them (and honestly, may have been them at one point in your life). They’re your friends that are known for getting into it with their other friends and calling them all types of names like they’ve never known them. If you know that it’s easy for them to cut ties with people, beware that they may do it to you too.
Ok, I Think They’re Ghosting Me. Now What?
Talk To Them About It
Can I be honest? Sometimes friends are going ghost and they don’t even realize it. They have a new boo, made new friends at work or are simply getting into something new and aren’t sure how to divvy up their time now. And sometimes, your friend is hurt about something you did or said and hasn’t been sure how to let you know. Truly reflect on your friendship. Have to been a good friend to them throughout the friendship, or have you vented to them about your personal issues more than you’ve allowed them to share theirs?
If you really care about the relationship, make it a point to let them know how you feel to get their take on things.
Understand People Grow Apart
Sometimes people grow apart, and that’s okay. You and your friend are in different locations, working on different time-consuming projects, in different settings, or have different schedules, then naturally you may begin to speak less frequently. Understand the flow of your relationship may not be the same, but it doesn’t mean that you’re ghosted – it just means it’s changed. Handle Them According To How They Handle You
If your friend has placed you on their backburner list of things to do list, then you do the same. This means you no longer initiate conversations or plans until they do. And if it never happens you’ll be ok. Know that you set the necessary boundaries in place for you to see them without overexerting yourself.
Rebuild Your Friend List
No new friends is a lie of a concept. While it’s true that it can be harder to make friends with age. Making friends is harder as you get older, but you can certainly tap into new networks and revisit old ones for people you have similar hobbies, careers or general interest in. Let your similar interest be the common link and segway into a new potential friendship. And if nothing serious forges, then at least you have someone else to potentially go out with for similar hobbies.
Hang Out Solo
Ultimately you are your own best friend, so why not hang out with the numero uno in your life? You can be just as much – if not more open to new perspectives, conversations and ways of being when you’re spending time alone.
So if you think you’re friendship is off – don’t suppress the feeling. Acknowledge it, think of how you should handle your relationship and always remember that you are your best friend.